To get the most out of your Telehealth session use a new and restarted computer on WiFi with earphones and water (to drink), tissues, homework, pen + paper adequate lighting.
Anxiety is a response tounknown/unexplored emotions and is not a feeling in itself. Feeling anxiety is your body’s cue to check out the emotions to resolve the anxiety experience.
Just like you learned that you can harm yourself to give comfort/care, you can also learn that comfort/care can come from psychological pain and not just physical pain.
From this place of acceptance, you can then make changes because it is real and concrete; there becomes a place to pivot from when we accept ourselves and those around us.
What happened in the past happened. You cannot change it (nor can I as a therapist), so guilting yourself to “be better” or to “not do____” is not what you need to hear from yourself.
A lot of holiday grief mirrors depression symptoms because the past 60 days have been marked by eating, celebration, gifts, sales, meetings, parties, time off, etc.