Addiction in any form can be shamed by those not with the addiction. The cultural view of addiction is somewhere between a terminal illness (as modeled in the Anonymous sobriety groups) and a moral or personal failure because the person addicted “couldn’t cope with life” (communicated to the afflicted by their peers or those hurt by the addiction’s toll on the person).
I hear somewhat frequently in counseling that people with addictions are moral failures. This is not true in any way. Everyone (both ‘Normies’ and those wrestling with addiction) are all equally close to relapse or having an issue with sex/pills/alcohol/substances/shopping/etc. There is not a difference in the makeup of humans with or without addictions. So how could it be a moral failure?
In all honesty, the most efficient way to start feeling better is to pick up some sort of addiction. I am not saying that this is good, but it is efficient in terms of time, money and feels.
Those wrestling with the grips of addiction are still people, just like you and I are still people though we have difficulty from standing up for ourselves social situations, or with sugar or with Netflix.
We all are presented with ways to grieve with the brokenness of society: the racial unrest that affects us all, the financial pressures faced in the forms of loans and expectations of self and the desire to relax at the end of a long day. Just because our work is stressful, does not make us morally weak, it makes us human. Where we go with the pain caused by life can either be a source of life or death. Examples of life-giving activities could be joining an interest group, exercise, solitude, reading or learning. Examples of coping that lead to death include addictions, binging, acting outside our personal boundaries and codependency.
We all have ways of coping with the problems we all are faced with. There is not one reason why alcoholics have selected alcohol; it could have been anything instead of alcohol. But just like you are presented with opportunities to walk in health or death with your coping, so is everyone else. You choosing Netflix or Amazon Prime shows to binge nightly (or only on the weekends when you can stop at any time but don't) does not make you morally stronger or better than someone who chose drugs or alcohol.
With that being said, addictions (remember: addictions = bad coping) are already painful and adding insult (you are a moral failure because you are addicted) to injury (being addicted), can perpetuate the addiction’s grip in the person’s life (more insult and more injury/death).
©Grayson Wallen 2021. All Rights Reserved. Terms & Conditions Apply.
Disclaimer: Grayson’s credentials are noted in the footer below. This blog post is not intended to replace therapy or counseling services. While this post may represent psychoeducational content that brings clarity or helps you personally, Grayson encourages you to process your findings and concerns with your mental health counselor and/or other trusted people in your life. If you have questions, comments, or concerns about the content of this post, or want to start counseling please contact Grayson directly.
About the links in this post: The links in this post may be affiliate links, which means that Grayson may receive a commission based on you using the link that Grayson gives you. As an Amazon Associate Grayson can earn from qualifying purchases and costs you nothing.
One Last Note: The content of this post is Grayson's work unless otherwise noted/cited. The content of this blog post is not representative of the opinions of Grayson’s past or present places of employment, partners, board members, employees, contractors, or Grayson's Supervisor(s).