Last year, I wrote on why it feels like self-harm is “helpful”, but the conclusion of the post was to talk to someone. In light of Self Injury Awareness Day on March 1, 2020, I wanted to shift gears and explain how to stop self-harm because it is a complex, difficult and overwhelmingly intense problem for many people. Here are six ways that can help you (or a loved one) stop self-harming.
Agree with yourself that self-harm is one response to the stressors of life (failing classes, missing expectations, being rejected, transitions in/out of teams or workplaces). Much like alcoholism or substance abuse, the process of discontinuing self-harm takes courage to talk about the problem, find other ways of comping that are efficient for you. The path to recovery from self-harm is marked with the temptation to relapse/re-harm. But again, the first decision to stop self-harm is to decide that it is one response to life's stressors; other responses can give relief, comfort and be productive towards what you need (which is comfort).
Get rid of all your sharp objects (scissors, knives, blades, sharp objects). If you don't have anything that can hurt you, then you are less likely to hurt yourself. This is a big initial step to stopping self-harm because it has implications. For those who use razors in the shower (and harm themselves with razors), throwing away the razors often means that you have one of two choices: become a Neanderthal or purchase an electric razor that will enable you to be confident in yourself and irradiate the possibility to cut/harm yourself. This also could mean that you will need to get help to open packages since you got rid of your scissors. Later, you can reintroduce the sharp objects back into your life, but consider taking some time to make your environment safe, less triggering and harder to harm yourself.
Talk to someone. Exploring the reasons why self-harm is even an option for your coping needs is a valuable insight. You can talk to a safety/phone worker, a counselor, a loved one, or even a trusted friend. Here are some resources to consider:
Crisis Text Line: https://www.crisistextline.org/selfharm
To Write Love On Her Arms: https://twloha.com/find-help/help-by-topic/self-injury/
Up 2 San Diego: https://up2sd.org/hotline/
Suicide Prevention Hotline: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org
Journal about your feelings. One of the best times to journal is when you are triggered or emotionally overwhelmed. This is also when many people turn to self-harm to comfort or process their emotions. The emotions that you experience are there to help you make sense of what is going on around you and you are not making things up when you are overwhelmed; there is a reason for the emotions you experience.
Get some exercise. Getting your heart rate up, with oxygenated blood throughout your body is also a great way to reduce the stress experienced. Again you are feeling the way you are for a reason, so accepting that is the case and distracting yourself with physical exercise (as opposed to Netflix) will help your body process the stress chemicals in your brain with pleasure chemicals that are secreted during exercise. Plus you will likely feel better about yourself after a run or workout that your self-image will be bolstered and the temptation to harm can be reduced.
Give yourself comfort. This task is probably the most important of all the previous suggestions. Self-harm is often a way that people use to express comfort, care, and love to the Self. Shortcutting the process of harm that leads to comfort, just give yourself comfort. This can look like eating a good meal, wearing fuzzy socks, watching the sunset over the ocean, enjoying a good book or an evening in the hot tub. Giving yourself the comfort, you are looking for will teach you proactive and non-harming ways to advocate for yourself to yourself. Just like you learned that you can harm yourself to give comfort/care, you can also learn that comfort/care can come from psychological pain and not just physical pain.
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