Ever heard of the saying that “the squeaky wheel gets the grease/oil”? Many times, the squeak in our cars is masked by the music we listen to, and the squeaks in our lives are neglected because we don’t know to fix them. Sometimes, the problem is unknown to us and we have grown accustomed to the ailment and its presence in our lives.
Here are 4 ways you can tell that there is something wrong in your life:
Suppression — When we try to minimize and redirect attention away from an area of our lives, a relationship or a condition we are experiencing. The essence of suppression is denial of the problem’s importance or impact.
Aggression — When you find yourself being irritable, easily frustrated, or being critical of yourself/others. Aggression is expressed as a secondary emotion to being sad, alone, fearful or rejected to try to take ahold of the problem and make it not a problem anymore.
Rationalization — When you convince yourself or others that there is a reason/purpose/responsibility for the problem’s presence in your life. Convincing yourself that the issue is “not that big of a deal” is a form of unaccepting your experience and slows down your change process as well as your healing.
Constipation — Yes, constipation. As your body processes stress, fear and sadness your digestive system is impacted by your problem. This is similar to a gut feeling, except that this is when your gut shuts down completely because of the feelings experienced. Typically, this happens when your problem provokes anxiety, fear or a threat to your personhood, lifestyle, needs, wants, desires, goals or dreams.
No one likes admitting that there is something wrong in our lives, but accepting that there is a problem is the second Stage of Change. Identifying what the change looks and feels like is another conversation, but acceptance is a huge part of mental health. Last week I explored what it means to accept your emotional experience. Even in the 12 Step model of recovery, acceptance is the first task to make sustained change. For a refresher on accepting your experience, check out my post: Accepting your Feelings.
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