Where were you on Tuesday, September 11, 2001? What feelings welled up within you when you learned about the attacks? What about when you learned that your loved one or a friend’s loved one was implicated by the attacks on the east coast?
The way that life is today, especially for those in the United States of America, is influenced by the attacks on 9/11. The world and its forces have spent years and endless resources to amend the wrongs from 9/11 and many of the losses of life from that day still sit with us as individuals.
It was almost as if time had stopped on 9/11 and the news broadcasts were stuck on repeat. We all saw the clips of planes crashing, streets covered in sooty newspapers and people jumping out of the flaming towers to their deaths. These realities and memories affect us. The way that we travel has been influenced by this event. How we relate. How we stand for justice. How the nation came together to support one another.
The grief that we carried on 9/11/2001 is still with us, and the families who lost loved ones because of the terrorist attacks. So, what do we do with grief? We honor it. We use it to relate and understand ourselves. Do not shut it down. Ask others about their experience and needs on this anniversary.
Grief is not to simply be explained or shut down. Grief is to be used to connect with people and be supported. Name the problem and the way it challenges and molds you. Grief, when it is not used, will draw you further from connections. But grief, when it is used properly, will engage the depths of your soul and the breadth of your relationships. Grief can give you the support that you need amid loss. The loss or changes that life brings your way is not meant to be swallowed- but instead used to facilitate connection, growth and personal flourishing in difficulty, loss, and traumas.
So in some ways, grieving is magical in that it takes the difficult and overwhelming parts of loss/change and turns it into supportive relationships that facilitate safety and connection in light of loss. While the loss requires tender and gentle processing, it also yields connection. Being stuck in the grief that death, traumas, injustice, and change brings- the grieving process is not in vain because it is intended to bring you close to others around you.
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