Reasons to start counseling can be clear. Maybe you feel anxious, or depressed, or have a complicated situation, or are accepting that you need some more support in your life. Starting counseling generally happens for a reason but ending counseling can be a little more complicated.
Knowing when to stop or pause counseling or change counselors can be a grey area, that perpetuates more counseling that may not be necessary to your goals/needs. Bu the reason that this is a grey area is that sometimes there is note more to do when there is more to work on before you have completed a season of counseling.
Practical reasons are oftentimes reasons why people end counseling: I feel better, I don't have enough money to keep meeting weekly, I can't commit to an hour (or two with all logistics considered) of the week every week- forever.
Practical reasons are good reasons to consider ending counseling, but the best way to think about ending counseling is to look at your counseling plan. At the beginning of counseling, I create a plan with all my Clients because that will help us navigate the ending of our relationship in a clear and compassionate-celebratory way.
A few great reasons to end counseling include: completing your plan for counseling, feeling better, and feeling better you feel confident to engage life with your whole being, and/or if your counseling needs change. As in, you and your counselor decide that there is someone else that could better help you, or if your problem shifts to become a couples/family problem instead of an individual problem and you want to focus your work on the other relationships you are seeking counseling for.
Aside from ending counseling for these reasons, when you are not finding that treatment is working, or that you want to take a break from counseling, this is also a good step. Some people take a month off and check back in, which can be helpful because you are giving yourself space to reflect, engage with life and learn what it is like to be without counseling without ending counseling completely.
After you and your counselor have decided that it is best for you to end counseling, here are three reasons to have a final session with your therapist:
Celebration – Looking back to when you first started counseling and what was going on can be a therapeutic task in itself. Remembering the pain that you carried and remembering how you healed in your pain can help you come to counseling in the next season of life that you find yourself in need.
Closure – Having relationships that randomly end is not fun for anyone (counselor included). Closure can help you recap what happened and even express appreciation towards yourself and/or your counselor can be a bonding experience for seasons to come.
Attachment – Saying "goodbye" is one of the phrases we must say to one another. Amongst the other phrases, saying "goodbye" facilitates secure attachment in that you are communicating your needs and intentions. Looking back at my own counseling experiences, when I had the opportunity to express gratitude and say "bye" to my counselor was healing. When I just said "I will call you again when I need you" left me feeling weird and like I had dodged an awkward conversation. In attachment language, creating a secure base where you can communicate and experience positive and negative experiences together, will create trust and safety for you in the relationship. Saying "goodbye" is an expected part of counseling because you want and need help sooner than later- not five years from now! Times, where you can bring complicated issues to the table, are helpful to you for years to come because it is a time where you trusted yourself, felt safe in a relationship, and a good thing happened because of it. This will translate to all sorts of benefits long after you say "goodbye" to your counselor.
Too Long/Didn’t Read: There are great reasons to stop counseling. After all, you aren't expecting to spend the rest of your life getting help. After you get help, celebrating progress and saying “goodbye” to your counselor can have lasting effects!
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Disclaimer: Grayson’s credentials are noted in the footer below. This blog post is not intended to replace therapy or counseling services. While this post may represent psychoeducational content that brings clarity or helps you personally, Grayson encourages you to process your findings and concerns with your mental health counselor and/or other trusted people in your life. If you have questions, comments, or concerns about the content of this post, or want to start counseling please contact Grayson directly.
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