The holidays seem to kick up lots of problems relationally. Perhaps it is because you now get to spend focused and intentional time with the difficult people in your life. Perhaps it is because of the financial stress related to this season and how seemingly normal consumerism runs our budgets and weekends. Regardless, here is your pep-talk for handling all the difficult people, situations and emotions that can come up this season.
Be intentional with your self-care. No one is going to follow up on you and make sure that you are eating healthy foods, sleeping 8+ hours/night and having periods of reflection. The holidays ironically are sometimes busier than our regular work lives. Take some time to reflect on the year and what has happened. How have you changed since January? Since June? Since Monday?
Monitor your internal dialogue about others. People who you have a hard time with, probably provoke negative and aggressive thoughts in your head like “here we go again” and “Cant he/she just get over it”. These thoughts breed intolerance and make you more triggered (because you are intolerant, which is a whole other conversation). Instead, focus on admirable parts about the person like that they are part of your life, or that they cared enough to show up to whatever event you are also at. Don’t slip into a moral high ground or superiority complex because that will not help you engage meaningfully.
Smile. There is tons of research on the benefits of smiling. In painful experiences, merely smiling reduces pain. Smiling also tricks your brain into thinking that you are happy, yielding a more positive affect. So give it a try with your Uncle or Mom or coworker.
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