Right now, it is easy to think about being grateful. As a nation, we are entering into a day (or 3) of feasting to represent the bountiful supply that we have been graciously been given. Each one of us has reason to be grateful despite our circumstances.
Being grateful can change our circumstances. The state gratefulness gives a positive filter to our life’s events. So, while going to a family dinner on Thanksgiving Thursday can stir up anxiety, depression or worry and fear; Seeking to find things/realities/facets of your life that you are legitimately thankful for will dramatically reorient how your brain interprets stressors and triggers. I am not saying that everything will be fixed or changed if you think differently. I am proposing that if you think differently, you will see things a little differently. And when we see things differently sometimes it can change how we feel.
Much of the research on depression has found that being grateful and generous (in ways that you can) is a 1-2 punch to symptoms like sadness and hopelessness. Why is this so? How could generosity and thankfulness change depression symptoms? Because seeing things differently will cause you to think and feel differently about yourself, others and the situation.
GRATITUDE: Now, being grateful needs to be done intentionally, mindfully and with little to no expectation of any return. Practicing gratefulness is a skill that is developed over time. Even as we approach a day dedicated to finding contentment and blessing in what has already been done, the temptation is what happiness and glee consumerism can bring us in the coming days and hours.
Gratitude is cultivated and chosen. Much like frequenting a preferred grocery store or farmer's market, over time you see the benefits of being faithful to the store (via rewards, sales, relationships with the produce professionals, etc.).
GENEROSITY: But by donating your time to a cause or by extending grace to a coworker who has wronged you, your generosity will gradually shift how you see yourself, the world and your future.
Recently, I started giving blood to the San Diego Blood Bank. This has been a simple, routine of me being able to give my health, my time and my resources to someone in need. It has encouraged me, filled me with cookies and even given me time to reflect on my own needs in the context of being generous to others.
This attitude of gratitude, that you have heard from this post as well as other countless places this Thanksgiving season cannot stop here. But it can start. Start by being intentionally and mindfully generous to those around you. After you have worked on this, you can work on other situations with strangers or people you don’t know personally.
GRATITUDE and GENEROSITY feed off of one another. They help you see through problems. They change how you respond to people's needs. They change how we (impulsively) spend our resources on happiness and glee that fades. Gratitude and generosity can redirect our focus from our problems to other peoples' needs/dreams/hopes.
PS: Gratitude and generosity are self-giving. Meaning, that they do not require anything to work other than you trying it out. Happiness and glee are fleeting until you capture it over and over and over again.
Suggested next steps:
Be generous to one person in your life.
Be generous to one person you don’t know.
List 100 things/people/places/realities that you are thankful for.
For a bonus exercise, share this around the table on Thanksgiving or with a trusted person in your life.
Too Long/Didn’t Read: GRATITUDE and GENEROSITY feed off of one another. They help you see your problems differently.
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