I resisted goal setting for many years of my life. I thought that goals were good to say in the context of school like: I want to get an “A” in Biology this semester, but I never really applied this to other contexts like eating dinner at a certain time, self-care, or even finances.
I hear this a lot in counseling too; setting goals is intimidating to many of us. Plus, many people have an image of a business executive who sets goals for you but isn’t necessarily tied to the actual process of accomplishing the goals.
We all don’t like to miss goals and I think that is why we avoid setting them. Think of it this way: if you never set a goal, you also never miss one either. If we do not set goals we are perpetuating the situations and the processes we find ourselves in… often because of the fear of failure.
Another reason people do not set goals is that the goal is a moving target. In one way this plays out practically is: "I can't make a budget because my monthly income fluctuates”. This is a legitimate reason why goal setting is HARD, but it does not mean that we are justified in not setting goals.
Here is a reframe for goal setting: setting goals is not about accomplishing something but instead about measuring your movement forward. When you set a goal, try to think about how you will grow from the process of setting goals and measuring progress. If you see goal-setting like paying taxes, as something you have to do and that is incredibly difficult, you probably won’t do it. Seeing goals as a process that can move, adapt, and grow as you do will make the process more enjoyable.
Too Long/Didn’t Read: Setting attainable goals comes from how you see yourself and avoiding the fear of failure. When you make goals, take them on with the mentality to measure your process as opposed to accomplishing something.
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