Anxiety: the word that describes worry, loss of appetite, overwhelmed feelings, lost in thought concerns about the future and fears of danger. Anxiety or worry can prevent you from engaging in relationships, commitments or things you enjoy in everyday life. Anxiety can cause you to retreat physically to your safe place, or within yourself as you may be the only safe person around when you are anxious. For some, anxiety is always around as a form of worry, for others, anxiety can come out of nowhere and overwhelm them for an extended amount of time.

Anxiety is not inherently evil, and you are not wrong or bad because you experience anxiety. Like stress, anxiety can be used proactively to avoid situations or problems in life. Anxiety can also run your life and drive you away from meaningful human connection and later relief from anxiety. Relief from anxiety is proof that you have used the anxiety, not simply that it has passed. Using your anxiety can look different based on the situation, but many find relaxation exercises or exercise as effective coping skills in managing anxiety so that it does not rule your life.

A reason why relaxation works to reduce anxiety is because it prompts your body to move out of a fight or flight state and into a safe state. While teaching your body that you are safe may take a few lessons (attempts) to relax, the goal would be for you to be able to get to a place where the anxiety symptoms (sweating, heaviness, fainting, worry, fear, intense bad thoughts, nausea, feeling on edge) to become manageable in order for you to identify what you can do or need to do.

3 Ways to manage anxiety when you are anxious:

1. Practice deep, slow and intentional breathing. Set a timer for 5–7 minutes and try to inhale through your nose for a count of 5 (1 one thousand, 2 two thousand, 3 three thousand…) and exhale through your mouth for a count of 7 (same cadence). You’re your eyes closed, focus on your breathing and how the air feels in your lungs. Do not give up until the timer goes off!

2. Identify something that you taste, touch, see, hear and feel. Now identify two other things that fall in each sense. Continue to identify new somethings until you get stumped. As I write this I am tasting cold coffee, feeling the firm chair under me, hearing my music and smelling coffee being ground around me (I am in a coffee shop).

3. Tell someone important in your life: “I am anxious right now; can you talk to me about something to distract me?”

Here’s an example of anxiety and coping in action: A college student stays up too late to study for their final exam tomorrow. When they wake up, they are tired and worried that their efforts for the past 16 weeks fall short because they typically have a difficult time taking tests. Their thoughts lead them to think that they are probably going to fail their final and then they conclude that they should just drop out of college altogether. At this point, their anxiety is prompting them to give up and accept defeat. But instead of walking to the administration building to withdraw from their courses, they practice deep breathing and realize that they could look over their study guide once more and feel readier to take their exam. Instead of entertaining the anxious conclusions, using the anxiety as a means to show them what they need allows relief to flood their consciousness. (Not always does anxiety play out this way, but the emphasis is on redirecting thoughts to positive behaviors that reduce anxiety instead of entertaining it).

As a side note, being anxious all the time is not fun and can be more difficult to manage than just breathing, but that does not make you wrong or bad. Your anxiety is sending you a message about what you need, are you listening to it?

Anxiety is not inherently evil, and you are not wrong or bad because you experience anxiety. Like stress, anxiety can be used proactively to avoid situations or problems in life.

©Grayson Wallen 2021. All Rights Reserved. Terms & Conditions Apply.

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