You may have heard this, or even said to yourself: “I need to process that”. This phrase can be easily confused as counselor lingo leaving you stuck in the same place. In some Christian circles, I have noticed a similar phrase: “I will pray for you”, when in reality there is no prayer or follow through on that claim. Sometimes in counseling and relationships, we say that we need to process to defuse the tension we are experiencing within ourselves or relationally with others; saying that you need to "process that" without actual processing can leave you feeling stuck.
The Merriam-Webster says that the definition of Process is: to integrate sensory information received so that an action or response is generated; to subject to examination or analysis.
I like this definition because it implies that processing something takes time. It also has an overt focus on the integration of experience, feeling, sensation and/or action. Lastly, it is a human, hands-on experience.
When you are working on processing your emotions, experiences, needs, traumas allow your practice of processing includes these three parts:
Take your time, be consistently intentional to understand yourself, others and relationships between stressors, traumas, mental health symptoms and impact of the progression of events in your life. In other words, explore how to experience A influenced whatever came next in life (experience B).
Take all the information on what you are processing. For starters explore:
What you were wearing/where you were
What was going on
How you were feeling
What your needs were at that moment
Why the event/emotion was (or is) triggering for you
How you responded and if you liked how you responded
Like tip #1, this will take some time to settle in. I once heard someone say "there is great information in noticing how we respond" and that has stuck with me as soon as I heard it. Take your experience and own it, explore it, understand it, don't judge it or try to change it. Notice that the definition of the process does not include anything about changing anything; it talks about integrating whole or raw pieces and parts.
Lastly, do something about or with your newly processed experience.
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Disclaimer: Grayson’s credentials are noted in the footer below. This blog post is not intended to replace therapy or counseling services. While this post may represent psychoeducational content that brings clarity or helps you personally, Grayson encourages you to process your findings and concerns with your mental health counselor and/or other trusted people in your life. If you have questions, comments, or concerns about the content of this post, or want to start counseling please contact Grayson directly.
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