Self-harm is any behavior that causes pain, damage or dismembers one's body. Harm against oneself sometimes feels helpful because of the internal pain that someone experiences are manifested in the harm/injury. Self-harm can also be a way for people to externalize their pain. Meaning that the pain that they are experiencing with their emotions is valid because it caused them to hurt themselves. In other words, it makes invisible pain visible. Many people find that they can show self-compassion if they are hurt or bleeding. So in efforts to be kind to self, the process must involve something physically hurtful as opposed to emotional pain being enough reason to exercise self-compassion.

Self-harm is not a helpful way of coping through it prompts reason to give attention to the emotional and/or psychological pain that depression, anxiety, trauma or other mental health concerns bring (not that these are the only mental health concerns that facilitate self-harm, but they are a few). What if you could stop hurting yourself to validate your internal pain? Your pain is already valid regardless if there is physical harm to manifest the pain 

It is important to keep in mind that stopping is easier said than done, and I am not denying that. But there is more help that can be found outside of self-harming behaviors like cutting, burning, scraping, poking, headbanging or diminishing one's appearance. Self-harm can be an attempt to manifest the need that is already there. Being so depressed that your view of yourself is so low that hurting yourself is not an insult to yourself is enough reason to get help; adding a cut or burn to your body does not heighten your need for help.

3 Reasons why self-harm does not help you cope with your problems:

1. Self-harm is a diminishing behavior, meaning that when you harm it lessens your personal/moral value and/or your view of self. So, if you view yourself so poorly: why would you ever get help? Behind the harm is a low view of yourself caused by various means, but how you move forward is not through harming yourself.

2. Self-harm may be an outward manifestation of an inner condition but self-harm sticks around way longer than the original symptoms of depression or trauma ever will. Reminders of self-harm in the forms of brain injuries (via headbanging) or scars will be persistent reminders of the pain once experienced.

3. Self-harm opens your body to various other problems. Depending on the level of harm and the actual form of harm, the body can be compromised to infection or even death.

 Let me reiterate: Self-harm can be an attempt to manifest the need that is already there. Being so depressed that your view of yourself is so low that hurting yourself is not an insult to yourself is enough reason to get help; adding a cut or burn to your body does not heighten your need for help.

Now what? If you are struggling with self-harm, you are not alone. There are several resources listed below including support chat rooms, and an awareness campaign.

Resources:

• Crisis Text Line: https://www.crisistextline.org/selfharm

• To Write Love On Her Arms: https://twloha.com/find-help/help-by-topic/self-injury/

• Up 2 San Diego: https://up2sd.org/hotline/

• Suicide Prevention Hotline: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org

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