Last summer, my wife and I worked on all 18 movies of the Marvel Universe… in order. We watched the movies to learn about the storyline that had captivated millions. We wanted to be in the loop, so we spent an evening each week to learn, explore and be captivated. Of the many plotlines, this series has I want to emphasize one for the sake of growing tolerance for our mental health needs. 

Traditionally, I never liked the Hulk. I thought that he was just impulsive and angry… I think I saw too much of myself in him. Nonetheless, I did not like him as a character. Even when we started watching the Marvel movies and the Hulk would enter the scene, I would cringe because he wasn’t my favorite character. Later this changed when I picked up on a change.

SPOILER ALERT FOR THOR RAGNAROK

In Thor Ragnarok, I learned that as Hulk spent more time as The Hulk, he learned temperament, communication, the direction of his strength and emotions. At this time in the Marvel Universe, The Hulk was the Hulk for several years while he was trapped to battle and entertain the people of Sakaar. Here’s the point: as Hulk spent more time with his true self, he grew in his capacity to manage he needs, communicate and be proactive for others, as opposed to relying on the Black Widow to calm him down when he was too aroused.

I think that we sometimes do this too; we look to our counselor/support people to calm us down, or we are waiting for the queue to get back to "normal" which is nothing like the dysregulated and difficult part of ourselves. Like Hulk, we all have learning to do, which comes from being in the broken places that our mental health drives us to. This is an incredibly uncomfortable place to be, but the uncomfortable feelings can be for-profit if we let it.

I am not saying that we need to camp out with depression (or anxiety, or trauma, etc.) but I am saying that we can learn to appreciate it, manage it and find the ways that we can soothe and respect ourselves during the storms of life. Having a counselor is not bad and that is the antithesis to what I am encouraging here. But as a counselor, I am modeling a way of self-acceptance and tolerance for the problems of life. If it helps, when comforted with distress think of it like what would my counselor/Grayson say at this moment, then do what you think the counselor/Grayson would do. The point is to accept and learn/observe what your needs are in the midst of the pain.

 If you were wondering, I have had a change of heart about Hulk and I admire his ability to stay calm and engage with others in proactive and balanced ways while being in his Hulk state.

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Disclaimer: Grayson’s credentials are noted in the footer below. This blog post is not intended to replace therapy or counseling services. While this post may represent psychoeducational content that brings clarity or helps you personally, Grayson encourages you to process your findings and concerns with your mental health counselor and/or other trusted people in your life. If you have questions, comments, or concerns about the content of this post, or want to start counseling please contact Grayson directly.

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