This past week I was able to attend a 3-day training on the Gottman Method for Couple's Therapy. Here are 5 major takeaways that I think can be helpful for you and your relationships as well: 

1. Relationships are hard, but not too hard, and take work by both people to make them successful.

2. Getting to a place where you are flooded prevents you and your relationship from seeing breakthroughs, growth, and healing.

3. The Four Horsemen need to be kicked out of your relationship:

   • Exchange defensive “you” statements with “I” statements;

   • Notice when you are stonewalling so that you can practice self-soothing;

   • Agree to stop criticism by using a gentle start-up;

   • Remember that contempt ruins relationships the fastest. Focus on describing your own needs not the other person.

4. Daily, consistent and intentional conversations with your partner can lead to greater unity. Unity is how you overcome life’s biggest problems.

5. Emotions are not wrong, they tell us about what is happening… so when there is emotion, there is a story to explore. 

I have specialized training to help couples like you. If your intimate relationship is not functioning to its highest potential, reach out for individualized help. I can also complete a comprehensive relationship assessment that will show you the things to work on to have the relationship you dreamed of. 

Too Long/Didn’t Read: I have specialized training to help couples have satisfying, rich, and fun relationships. Here are 5 things to think about to make your relationship healthy and strong.  

©Grayson Wallen 2021. All Rights Reserved. Terms & Conditions Apply.

Disclaimer: Grayson’s credentials are noted in the footer below. This blog post is not intended to replace therapy or counseling services. While this post may represent psychoeducational content that brings clarity or helps you personally, Grayson encourages you to process your findings and concerns with your mental health counselor and/or other trusted people in your life. If you have questions, comments, or concerns about the content of this post, or want to start counseling please contact Grayson directly.

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